A Biblical Theology of Shame and its Relationship to Emotional Issues and Evangelism

Mental Health, Evangelism
  • Shame is an emotion given by God, but greatly misunderstood, and capable of causing extreme pain.
  • It is vitally important that we understand where it comes from, what it signals, and what a church can do to heal the shame of the broken.

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A Biblical Theology of Shame

  1. Shame in the Old Testament
  2. Guilt vs. Shame
  3. Shame in the New Testament
  4. Undoing Shame:
    1. Evangelism (before God)
    2. The Christian Community

1. Shame in the Old Testament

Genesis 2

  1. …the LORD God… made a woman and brought her to the man.
  2. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh…”
  3. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
  4. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Genesis 3

  1. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.
  2. And they heard the sound of the LORD God… and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.
  3. But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”
  4. And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.”
  5. He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”
  • Why ashamed—there were only 2 of them, they had perfect bodies and were married!
  • They were not even actually naked now because they had made loin-cloths from fig-leaves
  • Physical shame was just a symptom of feeling exposed
    • When we have done something wrong, we want to hide

Hebrews 4

  1. For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
  2. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
  • So I don’t think they were literally worried that God would see them wearing only loin-cloths
    • It was an irrational symptom of deeper shame.
    • One of the main symptoms of shame is wanting to hide
  • What we have next gives us a huge insight:

Genesis 3

  1. And the LORD God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them.
  • God could have used wool, or flax, but he sacrificed animals. Why?
    • It was a picture of how their shame would ultimately be removed, by being carried by Jesus
    • Here of course God merely covered them, but ultimately shame would be removed
  • Working definition of shame:
    • Guilt is internal “I have done something wrong”
    • Shame is relational “Others see my behaviour and judge me”
  • Our ability to feel shame is not bad, it is put there by God for a purpose

Shame and Israel

  • The Old Testament is full of references to shame, so I have to be very selective.
  • I have read a lot of books on shame, both Christian and secular.
  • Unfortunately not all the Christian books are helpful, but one of the best is Defending Shame: Its Formative Power in Paul’s Letters by Te-Li Lau
  • I’m indebted to him for his treatment of the strong theme of shame in Ezekiel
  • Ezekiel 16 - worse than a prostitute – totally shameless, and even her enemies were disgusted by her
    • Yet she had no shame.
  • But when we come to the New Covenant promises of Ezekiel 36, part of their salvation is that they will feel shame.
  • It is important to distinguish:

Shame

  • Retrospective Shame: I should not have done that—it dishonoured God
  • Prospective Shame: I will not do that because it would bring dishonour to God
  • Present Shame: I am looked down on because of my behaviour

Ezekiel 36 —they shamed God

  1. So I poured out my wrath on them because of the blood they had shed on the land…
  2. When they came to the nations where they went, they profaned my holy name, because it was said about them, ‘These are the people of the Lord, yet they had to leave his land in exile.’
  3. Then I had concern for my holy name, which the house of Israel profaned among the nations where they went.

Ezekiel 36 – Retrospective

  1. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.…
  2. “ ‘You will remember your evil ways and your deeds that were not good,
    and you will loathe yourselves for your iniquities and detestable practices.
  3. …Be ashamed and humiliated because of your ways, house of Israel!

Ezekiel 37 Future: Shame Lifted

  1. They will not defile themselves anymore with their idols, their abhorrent things, and all their transgressions.
    I will save them from all their apostasies by which they sinned, and I will cleanse them.
    Then they will be my people, and I will be their God.
  2. …They will follow my ordinances, and keep my statutes and obey them.…
  3. My dwelling place will be with them; I will be their God, and they will be my people.
  4. When my sanctuary is among them forever, the nations will know that I, the Lord, sanctify Israel.’ ”
  • In that final statement, God has totally lifted their shame and replaced it with the highest honour!

A Biblical Theology of Shame

  1. Shame in the Old Testament
  2. Guilt vs. Shame
  3. Shame in the New Testament
  4. Undoing Shame:
    1. Evangelism (before God)
    2. The Christian Community

2. Guilt vs. Shame

  • Through history, and in the Bible, shame has always been how we feel our community is regarding us.
  • In ancient societies (and still most today) how that society views you is very important
    • If you are seen as of value, you will be looked after well
    • If you do something that is antisocial, you will lose status
  • We quickly learn what is socially acceptable
    • People who don’t are called shameless!
  • Just like physical pain can be very useful, but sometimes very problematic
    • So shame can go wrong and become toxic
  • e.g. We can hide things about ourselves because we think we would really go down in others’ estimation
  • What complicates it is that we all live in multiple communities
    • The standards of behavior one might be the opposite of another
    • Family, church, work, social life, social-media, God and his heavenly hosts
  • e.g. to be found to be a Christian might bring shame in the workplace
    • Telling our family about becoming a Christian might be shameful in some cultures
    • Being shamed in inevitable in this world, but the critical question is whose honour do you value?
  • So the shame detection system is something that God has built into you
    • But you can choose what you do with the signals it gives you.
  • However here in North America, we live in a highly individualistic culture
  • This has led to odd definitions of shame that are totally individualistic
  • e.g. Brene Brown (note she has refined this now)

False definition:

  • Guilt: I have done something wrong
  • Shame: There is something wrong with me
    (community is not even mentioned)
  • Another problem with this defn: In practice you may not particularly feel that something is wrong with you, but get still get shamed by one of your communities

Guilt vs Shame

  • Guilt: I have done something wrong.
    • Source: God-given conscience
  • Harsh Inner Critic: You are a loser. Something is wrong with you!
    • Could also be called “false guilt”
    • Source: ultimately Satan is the false-accuser (Col 2:15–23)
  • Shame: My community has lost respect for me. I have gone down in their estimation
    • Source: God-given sensitivity to those around us
    • But sometimes Inner Critic will use it to beat us up
  • Opposite to shame is honour

Response to Guilt & Shame

  • Guilt: I have done something wrong.
    • Action: ask forgiveness, make reparation/payment
    • Wrong Action: blame, denial, excuses
  • Harsh Inner Critic: You are a loser. Something is wrong with you!
    • Wrong Action: constant self-criticism, depression, futile attempts to improve, numb with drugs/distractions
    • Action: Receive God’s love, compassion & acceptance

Response to Guilt & Shame

  • Shame: My community have lost respect for me. I have gone down in their estimation
  • Wrong Action: Hide
    try and regain honour & standing (e.g. on social media)
    numb with drugs/distractions
  • Action: Reflect on your values?
    Stop doing bad things, if that’s the problem
    Make status before God above everything else.
    Is this a healthy community for you?
    (you may not have a choice)
  • Did Jesus feel shame for being naked on the cross?
    • or Was he shamed by his community at the cross?
    • He was human, and had the full human experience of living in our pain and suffering

Hebrews 12

  1. looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith,
    who for the joy that was set before him
    endured the cross, despising the shame,
    and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
  • If you define shame as knowing you are downgraded in the eyes of others
    • Yes, the cross was supposed to be the most publicly shameful death possible
    • Yes, but because of the joy, he didn’t care about the pain, or the shame
    • And now he receives the honour and glory of the highest place
  • The price was worth paying!
  • Here is another example of shame in one group and glory in another!

Acts 5

  1. and when they had called in the apostles, they beat them and charged them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go.
  2. And they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name.
  3. And every day, in the temple and from house to house, they did not cease teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ.

1 Peter 4

  1. But rejoice in the degree that you have shared in the sufferings of Christ, so that when his glory is revealed you may also rejoice and be glad.
  2. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory, who is the Spirit of God, rests on you.
  3. But if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but glorify God that you bear such a name.

A Biblical Theology of Shame

  1. Shame in the Old Testament
  2. Guilt vs. Shame
  3. Shame in the New Testament
  4. Undoing Shame:
    1. Evangelism (before God)
    2. The Christian Community

3. Shame in the New Testament

  • Note that one of the Greek words used in the Bible for honour or shame can also be used for monetary value.
    • To shame someone is to devalue them, to honour them is to give them value

1. Jesus: If you have honour, you can give it.

Luke 8

  1. And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and though she had spent all her living on physicians, she could not be healed by anyone.
  2. She came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, and immediately her discharge of blood ceased.
  3. And Jesus said, “Who was it that touched me?” When all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the crowds surround you and are pressing in on you!”

Luke 8

  1. And when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling, and falling down before him declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed.
  2. And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”
  • You are my daughter! I am giving you some of my honour!

Mark 14

  1. And while he was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he was reclining at table, a woman came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over his head.
  2. There were some who said to themselves indignantly, “Why was the ointment wasted like that?
  3. For this ointment could have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor.” And they scolded her.

Mark 14 cont’d

  1. But Jesus said, “Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me.
  2. For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you want, you can do good for them. But you will not always have me.
  3. She has done what she could; she has anointed my body beforehand for burial.
  4. And truly, I say to you, wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of her.”
  • Did Jesus replace her shame with honour?
  • Peter, after the betrayal

John 21

  1. That disciple whom Jesus loved therefore said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment, for he was stripped for work, and threw himself into the sea.
  2. …“Simon, son of John, do you love me? ”
    “Yes, Lord,” he said to him, “you know that I love you.”
    “Shepherd my sheep,” he told him.

A Biblical Theology of Shame

  1. Shame in the Old Testament
  2. Guilt vs. Shame
  3. Shame in the New Testament
  4. Undoing Shame:
    1. Evangelism (before God)
    2. The Christian Community

4. Undoing Shame:

  1. Evangelism (before God)
  2. The Christian Community
  • I need to call out some really bad arguments written in books on this subject
    “The Biblical culture was honour/shame, not sin/guilt”
    “It is only in the last few centuries, and only in the west that the gospel has been preached in terms of sin and guilt”
    • This shows such an ignorance of Scripture!
  • The O.T. law was extremely focused on what was sin, and how an individual could be forgiven.
  • I did my masters’ thesis on “Gospel Preaching in Acts” and found that every sermon by Peter and virtually every one by Paul ended with the same call to action: “Repent so that your sins may be forgiven.”
  • Even in Athens:

Acts 17: To Pagans

  1. The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent,
  2. because he has fixed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by a man whom he has appointed; and of this he has given assurance to all by raising him from the dead.”
  • So did Paul do anything different in Athens?
  • Here is what I think is the difference—he spent time introducing them to God

Preaching in an Honour/Shame Culture

  • Introduce them to the person of God
  • Explain how they have brought dishonour to God through their sin
  • Among all our relationships where we value honour/shame, this is by far the most important
  • Right now you stand before God in great shame
  • This has extremely bad consequences because he will judge the world
  • Yet he offers to take away your sin and shame and bring you the honour of taking you into his family for ever
  • And above all, Paul is aware of the need of the Holy Spirit to convey this truth, just as back in Ezekiel 36.

Also this will lead to honour before God and in the Spiritual realm

  • Parable of the lost son: Luke 15:22–23
    “I’m no longer worthy to be called your son.”
    “Quick! Bring out the best robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then bring the fattened calf and slaughter it, and let’s celebrate with a feast”

Hebrews 2

  1. But we do see Jesus ​— ​made lower than the angels for a short time
    so that by God’s grace he might taste death for everyone
    ​​crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death…
  2. For the one who makes holy and those who are being made holy all have one Father.
    That is why Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters
  • Another similar passage about being joined with Jesus in his honour:

Eph 1 —Honoured with Jesus

  1. having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,
  2. and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might
  3. that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places,
  4. far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.

Eph 2 —Honoured with Jesus

  1. He also raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavens in Christ Jesus

Honour in the Christian Community

James 2

  1. For if someone comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and dressed in fine clothes, and a poor person dressed in filthy clothes also comes in,
  2. if you look with favor on the one wearing the fine clothes and say, “Sit here in a good place,”
    and yet you say to the poor person, “Stand over there,” or “Sit here on the floor by my footstool,”
  3. haven’t you made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

James 2

  1. Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Didn’t God choose the poor in this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom that he has promised to those who love him?
  2. Yet you have dishonored the poor.
  • Gal 6:1–2 When someone is discovered to be in sin, don’t shame them by being competitive (v.3–4) but restore them to honor by bearing their burdens and walking with them.
  • 1 Cor 11 – love feasts. Each person ate their own food. Some had almost nothing and were ashamed!

1 Corinthians 13

  1. Love is patient, love is kind.
    It does not envy, it does not boast,
    it is not proud.
  2. It does not dishonor others,
    it is not self-seeking
  • listening, valuing
  • love one another, raising them up

Healing from Shame in the Christian Community

  • We know we are valued because
  • People take time to listen to us
  • They care about us
  • They treat us as if we have value

Philippians 2

Further Reading

  • My Web resources: bibl.ca/shame
  • Defending Shame: Its Formative Power in Paul’s Letters by Te-Li Lau
  • For Shame: Rediscovering the Virtues of a Maligned Emotion by Greg Ten Elshof